Dating Older Men: The Perks and the Challenges | StyleCaster
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We all remember when year old Ashley Olsen made headlines for reportedly dating year-old Bennett Miller, the director of Moneyball.
And, yes, I know some younger men date older women. Kyle Jones, a year-old Pittsburgh guy, was in the news for having a relationship with year-old great-grandmother, Marjorie McCool. So I am not being sexist.
However, this article is about younger women falling in love with older men. And I don't mean a few years older. Traditionally, it has not just been customary but also advisable for girls to marry men who were a few years older - maybe by two to five years.
There are biological as well as psychological reasons for this. For instance, girls enter puberty sooner, their bodies are ready to have children earlier, and they only remain fertile for a limited time period.
Psychologically, they reach emotional maturity much sooner than men. In fact, statistics prove that, on average, American men marry younger women. Pratt, Gracia Edwards and Gert Stulp, revealed that married women were 4.
According to the same study, successful men featured on the Forbes list married women seven years younger. In fact, the numbers get more interesting. When these super-rich men remarried, their subsequent partner was substantially younger, years younger on average. That's the kind of gap I am talking about. Financial gain seems to be the obvious answer, so I will get it out of the way straightaway. Girls get a head-start by marrying older men, as it affords them a similar or better lifestyle than they were used to while living with their parents.
After all, their parents would have secured a commendable standard of living in their middle age, and the girl would like to ensure that she gets similar comforts when she marries. If she were to marry a man the same age or slightly younger, they both would be starting out together and would lead a life of struggle initially—at least before they can plant their feet firmly in their respective careers.
So, such an affair results in financial security. There are other, more complex psychological reasons.
As they say, a girl marries a guy that reminds her of her father. Girls are used to their father's protection and care. Such a caring and loving attitude is usually found in older men. Men her age typically though not necessarily are as mature or even less mature than herself and are not yet ready to take on the responsibility of a partner. Girls want to grow up fast, and they feel all grown up with an older man who socializes with others his age. Everything from music, social activities, politics and morals come into play, so be prepared to deal with these problems as they arise and try to talk through them.
Another concern involves health issues.
4 Questions About Older Man/Younger Woman Relationships
Though things might seem smooth now, you will be aging at different rates in the future. With an older man, the younger woman will likely need to provide at least some sort of health care as this happens. Be prepared for a variety of medical conditions that could occur in the future, including strokes, heart attacks or anything else that older men typically go through.
It might seem like a fine time in life to have children together, but think about how old the man will be when the child turns Depending on how much older the man is, will he even be around? Will a woman want to be alone with her teen children because her husband is either too old or deceased?
This is generally the major reason given for the dissolution of one of these relationships. If starting a family is important for you, the relationship might not work unless you have a plan in place for raising your family as you both age. Does age really matter?
Age can be a major factor in a relationship or it can be as minor as you make it. The choice is typically up to you and your partner. Think about the consequences and the advantages.
Decide the attributes that are really important to you in the person that you date. Where can I meet older men? There are several places where you can meet older men. Many still go to the bars and clubs where younger women hang out because they enjoy the younger nightlife.
About 1 per cent of age-gap couples involve an older woman partnered with a younger man.
What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man
The limited evidence on same-sex couples, however, suggests the prevalence rates are higher. About 25 per cent of male-male unions and 15 per cent of female-female unions demonstrate a large age gap.
But what these trends tell us is that the majority of the population is likely to partner with someone of similar age. This largely has to do with having social circles that generally include peers of similar ages and being attracted to others who are similar.
4 Questions About Older Man/Younger Woman Relationships
Similarity entails many things, including personality, interests and values, life goals and stage of life, and physical traits age being a marker of physical appearance.
Why doesn't age matter to some? Many of the reasons proposed for age-gap couples have been largely rooted in evolutionary explanations, and focus on explaining older man-younger woman pairings. From this perspective, it's thought men's preferences for younger women and women's preferences for older men relate to reproductive fitness.
That is, the extent to which someone has "good genes" — indicated by their attractiveness and sense of energy also known as vitality — and the extent to which they are a "good investment" — indicated by their status and resources as well as their warmth and sense of trust.
Although men and women place importance on a partner who is warm and trustworthy, women place more importance on the status and resources of their male partner.
This is largely because, with women being the child bearers, the investment is very high on their behalf time and effort in child bearing and rearing.
So they are attuned to looking for a partner who will also invest resources into a relationship and family. In couples with an age gap it's more likely the woman is younger. This is probably because women place more importance on resources and men on fertility.
The success of a relationship depends on partners sharing similar values, beliefs and goals about their relationship. So, women being attuned to status and resources might explain why some women may be attracted to older men.
In contrast, there's evidence to suggest men value attractiveness and vitality more than women because, from an evolutionary standpoint, youth is seen as an indicator of fertility. Given men cannot bear children, evolution suggests they're attuned to younger women to enhance the chances of partnering with someone who can provide children.